Fanboy
by LavenderBlossom74
Summary: /"Don't you 'hm' me, Bruce! That was Chris Evans. Chris. EVANS! As in Steve Rogers? As in Captain America? As in a celebrity?"/ OR Dick meets Captain America and Fanboys much to Bruce's amusement Crack fic


**/0\0/0\0/0\**

 **Fanboy**

Dick and Bruce were at Wayne Enterprises—Bruce's office on the top floor to be exact.

Bruce was busy demonstrating the epitome of boredom—or, what he dubbed 'work' (reading business contracts, signing about a bajillion papers, looking over products, managing financials, etcetera).

Dick had just perfected the Van Wijk tie knot (prior to that, he'd also learned the Murrell knot, the Balthus knot, the Prince Albert knot, and the Half-Windsor knot).

…

He was not to be judged! All he'd had to sustain his energy in this stupid office was a neck-tie and his hands. He'd simply taken what he had and ran with it!

Now why he hadn't just watched an actual video on his phone instead of YouTube tutorials… Why he hadn't counted his "phone" as part of his entertainment…

The sole blame of that was Bruce.

 _Do something productive_ he'd said. Yeah well, Dick's choices had been either learning the different tie knots or joining Bruce in the Land of the Bored and GlazedofEye. Needless to say, he'd picked the tie.

Anyway, after mastering the tie knots, he decided to go to the huge window (huge bulletproof—and a bunch of other proofs probably—window) to get a look at the beautiful scenery. That and he wanted to look at something that wasn't his blue and yellow striped Gotham Academy tie.

 _That_. wasthemoment... he _realized_ …

That the human body could be such a weird thing. As it was, Dick was learning he had yet to find the extent to which his jaw could drop.

One of his learning moments was currently going on. In his head, he imagined his jaw hitting the floor cartoon style.

Or at least, he would have if his head hadn't been busy with the other endeavors of his human body. Such as questioning whether or not he needed glasses.

He whipped his head around and hissed, "Bruce. _Bruce!_ "

The seemingly oblivious man stopped looking at his laptop long enough to voice his answer. "Hm?"

Dick knew the walls were sound proof and he took advantage of that fact. "Don't you 'hm' me! That was Chris Evans. Chris. _EVANS!_ As in Steve Rogers? As in _Captain America!?_ As in a _celebrity!_ "

Bruce gave him a wry glance and counting on his fingers, said, "One, you live with a celebrity. Two, I'm aware."

Dick stomped his foot in frustration. Hard. "You don't count!" Because Chris Evans. _Captain. America_. Movie Star.

... Who Dick had just _seenwalk_ into this _verybuilding_ like it was _normal_. What the holy flying batmans!? "And what do you mean you're _aware?!_ "

"I've met him so I know who he is."

Dick blinked. Once. Twice. Now his ears were malfunctioning. Then his hands went to his face. Painstakingly slow, he dragged his fingers down in a exasperated, unbelieving manner.

"You've met. Captain America. And YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF TELLING ME THIS WHY?" He'd read books where guys who were anxious and frustrated pulled at their ties to loosen them. He didn't think it happened in real life.

An inch away from his precious knot, he stilled his hand.

He dragged his hands down though the air and gradually closed them as he did. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Bruce expectantly like _explain rightnow thisinstant if you valuable anything in life._

"I thought you knew." Bruce calmly, matter-of-factly, answered.

Dick sputtered "You- thought- what- how- _you_ -"

"At least you should have according to the Wayne Enterprises Financial Management Handbook you read."

Echoing his thoughts, Dick said, "The _what?_ "

"The thick packet of papers you read as part of your grounding when I took your phone, laptop, smart watch, and all other technology away."

Realizing he'd basically just walked himself into a trap, Dick immediately stilled his features from forming a 'Busted. I am so dead face' and instead tried for his 'nonchalant, nothing suspicious going on, I _totally_ read that.' face.

He figured he was a lot more chalant than he wanted to be. "Oh. That."

"Hm, _that_." Dick didn't even have to look at the guy to see his smirk. "I presume that is what you did that day at the office instead of hacking into our main server and using some hidden mobile device to text and watch Netflix?"

Did he _have_ to rub it in?

"Yep! That's exactly what I did!" Dick paled before blinking at 1 blink per second. He was pretty sure that passed the speed limit for an innocent blink but at the moment he was too panicked to care.

"–the reading the handbook thingy! – _not_ the Netflix… nuh uh. Just that you know, the whole _Chris Evans/Steve Rogers_ thing must have escaped my mind since I was too deeply engrossed in learning the ways of financing to notice that specific detail? Care to clear it up?"

He smiled his most innocent, adorable, endearing, _please don't kill me right now_ , look.

"I met with him and we discussed join-support for the Breast Cancer Foundation. We set a second meeting today to finalize the details."

Dick nodded. "Oh, so that's why it was placed under financial management."

Then he backtracked. "Wait… So does that mean I get to _meet_ him today?"

The pickle he was currently stuck in momentarily forgotten, he was all fanboy all over again. A proud fanboy

Because hey, don't judge. If girls could squeal their lungs off, hyperventilate like there was no tomorrow and tackle one another to the ground just for a chance to glimse their idol... basically, if they could create mass panic and not be looked at twice, then so would he.

Wally was going to be _so_ jealous.

But Bruce didn't answer. The man simply gave him an unreadable look… Then one corner of his mouth the tilted up slightly.

And the young bird knew he was doomed Dick started to shake his head slowly… Then he sped up to the point of a tornado. "Oh no. Nonononononononono… Brooooose, _no!_ "

Not knowing what else to do, short of falling to his knees and clutching onto Bruce's shoe with the plan of never, ever letting go, Dick started to ramble.

"You have to let me meet him. You _have_ to. You cannot refuse this poor boy who asks for so little one tiny favor." Bruce arched an eyebrow in clear amusement.

Dick gulped. "Because, _sure_ I may have skipped a page or two or three or four or _sixty-three_ of that _wonderful_ book… But Brooooose! That punishment has _nothing_ on not meeting the Captain America! So in my book, replacing that punishment with this one, makes it cruel and unusual! And hey, I just noticed those words rhymed… Wonder if that was done on purpose… But that's not the point!"

"Please, please, pleaaaaaaaaaase! Can you _please_ grant me the once in a lifetime chance of meeting Chris Evans?"

Dick finished his mini-monologue with a hand held to his heart dramatically. His whole dramatic _if I look pitiful enough, maybe Bruce will relent_ shebang was ruined with the sound of small ring from Bruce's office phone.

Presting a button, Bruce answered. "Yes?"

"Mr. Evans is here for your one o'clock, Mr Wayne." The voice of Mrs. Lacy, Bruce's secretary, was heard though the speaker.

"Of course, Thank you. Send them right in,"

Dick gaped at the door. The door through which Chris Evans would enter any second now.

"If you don't breathe, you'll pass out. If you pass out, you won't ever get to meet Mr. Evans, Dick."

Oh. Right. He seriously wasn't breathing? Wait, yeah, he really wasn't breathing. Greedily, Dick took a gulp of air.

He heard a low chuckle from beside him but decided to let it slide.

Dick was allowed to fanboy. He was allowed to–

The door opened. A dark-haired man stepped inside.

And. And. AND!

He was REAL! If Dick was dreaming, he was going to have a serious talk with whatever part of his brain decided what he dreamt about how it was _not cool_ to crash and burn a thirteen year old's dreams.

He was so very thankful for his training. If Batman himself had not been the one to teach him how to curve his emotions into something solid, Dick was pretty sure he'd be yelling and dancing and hollering and screaming and running rampant and… Yeah.

Certainly, he was doing so in his head.

Here though he calmly stepped forward, the epitome of no, not boredom, but of order and perfect composure.

He stuck his hand out for a greeting …

And then was shaking Captain America's hand.

He was- _shaking hands_ \- with Captain America.

…

Captain America. Chris Evans. Super soldier.

This very hand had held Captain America's shield.

His _shield_.

 **/0\0/0\0/0\**

Bruce watched Dick with a seemingly normal gaze.

In reality however, he was waiting for the moment when Dick's carefully constructed composure would drop.

It was impressive how far he'd gotten without yelling his head off (about 2 minutes since Chris had entered the scene) but not surprising.

Bruce gave the kid 5 more seconds.

5, 4, Dick stepped forward

3, 2, He shook the guy's hand

1, he was still holding his ground.

0, the cracks began to show

-1 ...

"OH MY FLYING SHIELDS, YOU'RE CHRIS EVANS LIKE CAPTAIN AMERICA THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR I LOVE YOUR WORK AND YOUR MOVIES AND THE AVENGERS ARE AWESOME AND CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A PRIVILEGE THIS IS …"

Chris looked shocked and could only stare as Dick continued to ramble.

With wide eyes, he sent a questioning desperate glance at Bruce.

Bruce just mouthed the words _He's a Fanboy_ before his lips curved into a small, fond smile.

Chris just nodded wordlessly.

 **/0\0/0\0/0\**

 _ **AN:**_ I don't know how I feel about that ending but oh well. It was fun to write! Really fun. I should write things like this more often. Maybe a little series?

Muse: No no no! Or have you forgotten you have 2- no, 3 stories you haven't updated!?

Me: ummmmm

Muse: Mhm, Uh huh, No

Me: I already have 3, might as well throw on another one!

Muse: *groan*

Yeah, so we decided (we!? As in us!? Nuh uh, you decided) … Fine, I decided that this little thing will become a mini-series … Like maybe 5 more chapters mini.

As for my other updates, real life has been hectic lately but it's finally starting starting to settle down. I'm working on a writing schedule for myself so that I can update my 2 ongoing stories (Batsheme and clueless) on a consistent basis. As for my two shot… Erm. I'm trying, it's just be being a bit of a problem child.

Anyhow, that's all my news for now. I doubt anybody read all of that since they probably already left to go read other awesome fanfics (I hope they commented on their thoughts before leaving though) :D

Hope you enjoyed and until the next time!

~LB


End file.
